Senseless Outbursts from an Anxious Solo Traveller


Geesh. Currently, as I work, my mind has been wandering on and off on scheduled travel plans for October till December. I’m starting to be overwhelmed by the stuff I need to prepare before I leave. This would probably be my first major unplanned solo trip. Well, for the most part of it, that is.

You see, I still don’t know what came over me when I decided to join one of the world’s famous travel blogging conference, TBEX. It’s happening on October 13-16, 2016 and then a post famtour will follow on October 17-21, 2016. A part of me wanted to just forget about the whole thing but a part of me says I can’t since I’ve invested money on this already. There’s a registration fee to join this event and I’ve booked my stay too at a hotel not far from the place. So it would be a waste of money if I decide to throw all of this away. For what you ask? Because I’m leaning to chicken out on socializing and meeting new friends and acquaintances. It would have been easier for me if I’m going with someone from home like that time I joined WordCamp 2010 in Manila because there were, I believe, four of us who attended the event from Cebu. In this case, I’m doing it alone. Although I have fellow Pinoy Travel Blogger friends who will be there, this event’s totally different. I guess I’ll just have to wear a mask and pray that I’d get through the entire event without collapsing or anything. #introvertproblems


Then there’s an upcoming trip I have for Bangkok in November. I’ve scored cheap tickets back in March of this year and decided it’s the perfect time for me to go and see the Lantern Festival in Thailand. This was something I’ve long wanted to witness ever since 2012 when I backpacked for 5 months in Thailand and Cambodia. And now, am also thinking of cancelling this trip because I don’t think I want to travel solo anymore. Being the non-talkative and shy type, I find it sad not to be able to share your travel thoughts with someone. But I know I shouldn’t worry about these stuff. For one, someone I know is currently in Bangkok and I’m hoping to meet up with her and rekindle our Bangkok shenanigans four years ago. I’ll also meetup another friend who will be visiting Vietnam and Cambodia first before the Lantern Festival. I guess my laziness is just kicking in. That and worrying about funds. I know I can always survive but with having no set plans or itinerary, I can’t foresee how my budget would look like for this 3-week trip. What’s worse is that I refuse to create a budget or an itinerary. I guess I’ll be doing the usual when my travel date gets near – cram. Travelling within Thailand is relatively cheap and I know I shouldn’t worry about all these things. Maybe it’s just travel jitters I’m concerned about. This would be my first out of the country trip after visiting Japan in 2014. A lot of things have changed within those years. More on my attitude towards travelling, I’d say. That and solo travelling.

But honestly, I’m about to leave home soon for I guess almost three months and my mind is swimming with different thoughts now. My room’s a huge mess and I need to make sure I keep it tidy before I leave. I hate cleaning my room. It’s so time-consuming for me. Then there’s the TBEX conference I need to prepare before the Bangkok trip too. Then after Bangkok there’s a scheduled Coron trip. Oh gosh! It just dawned on me. Will I be dragging fins and snorkeling gear too? I can actually leave those in Manila but I guess I’ll be bringing more stuff than I originally thought. What clothes do I bring for TBEX, for Ilocos, for Bangkok? Am also regretting why I suddenly had too many pairs of shoes I hoarded over the past 3 months. Before, I only have to think of bringing slippers. Now am undecided on what to bring. Shall I bring my trekking shoes? Shall I bring only my slipper sandals? I hate having these choices. It makes me waste my time thinking over and over what’s appropriate to bring. As I’ve said, my attitude towards travelling have changed a bit.

Haay. I guess I’m at the ‘ngarag’ stage in this whole travel preparation stuff. I’m still in denial that I’m almost about to leave home again. It’s laziness telling me to just don’t go, you’re better off spending time at home. But I can’t stop my brain!

Syet! Malapit na! Malapit na!

P.S. If you’ve reached reading this point, my sincerest apologies. This is just a nonsense rant post about me and my stupid head with the unusual problems of a solo backpacker. Thanks though for sticking around and reading till the end. teehee


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